I have a friend who is currently finding her marriage to be stagnant and is in need of a face lift. I wrote the following as a challenge for her and her husband. Communicating has fallen to the wayside and they are on auto pilot. There is love in their house and they have two children under the age of 5, she is a stay at home mom and he works 8-12 hours a day. Some of these things may seem silly but for a happy trusting relationship you need to know your partner is there, for you, in more ways than one. I believe this is a way to start rebuilding trust, intimacy and love.
A couple rules:
Everyday finish your goals, make time
This is NOT about your kids, work or other family
This IS about you and your partner, your relationship
Have any suggestions or want to tell us what you think works for a happy relationship? Share these ideas in the comments, I’ll be sure to share them with her!
Before you leave say good-bye, kiss and say I love you (wake the other if must)
When you get home, welcome and greet each other Hug and kiss
Pet name….get one and use it!
Hug twice a day (minimum)
Continue week one
Monthly dates, no kids (see week four)
Get a sticky note pad, leave notes for one another saying how you feel
Do one selfless act a day with your partner in mind
Continue weeks one and two
Laugh, everyday find two jokes to share with the other
Cuddle; couch, bed wherever is comfortable (no sex)
Take turns making dinner (can be take-out)
Show appreciation, everyday say one thing you appreciate about the other
Continue weeks one, two and three
Date night (must have some type of intimacy)
Tell the other what bothers you (anything, inside your home and out of it) trust each other
Tell the other what is most important you to (not family related)
Answer the question: Where will we be in 5 years? (life, marriage, finance, kids, family)
At the end of each day, ask yourself did I complete each task of love? If not go do it NOW! It’s not too late.
For the challenge below, cut each line out and fold up, place in a jar. Everyday around the same time pull one from the jar each and read it aloud, then do the task or answer the question.
How I feel about you
What I like to do in my spare time
What I do in 24 hours.
I smile because …
I worry about…
I am happy because…
I am stressed about…
My favorite food is________ and I want it _______
What I did today that made me think of you.
I like your…
I want to touch your…
Your butt looks good in….
My favorite color for you to wear is…
If I could stop one thing it would be…
I dream about…for our future.
I will wash your car/truck on …
Pick up the mess in the…..
Take a shower together
Rub my feet or hands (lotion is a must)
Color a page together (take turns)
Play the Xbox/games together (min 30 minutes)
Have a glass of wine together
Let me sleep in the next Saturday
Make breakfast on Saturday
Pick a movie/tv show to watch together
This is just a start, add things that are applicable to you and your relationship.
Here is a printable copy, happy-life-2. Let me know if you try this and how things go. Good luck, happiness and love to you all!